Chyna, Michael Angeli, Chyna - If They Only Knew

Excellent book about Chyna, the legendary 9th wonder of the world.

I'll start off by saying that I am a HUGE wrestling fan. I've never really been much of a Chyna fan- I could take her or leave her. I was, however, interested in learning how a woman was able to do something no other woman had ever done in the WWF- compete against the men. So I figured I'd give the book a try.

First off, the book is obviously Ghost-Written. Not a big deal, if the words on the page seem like they could be coming out of the mouth of the book's subject.....I have seen dozens of hours of interviews with Joanie Laurer, and there is not ONE PAGE in this book that sounds like her. In reality, she comes off as a self-absorbed doofus craving attention. On the printed page, she's a poor man's Shakespeare. Add "Writer" Michael Angeli to my list of "names to avoid like the plague" at the bookstore. He hammers the reader with run-on sentences. The chronology of the book is a mess. Every sentence screams out with Angeli's pretentiousness. I could not envision ANY of these words coming out of Chyna's mouth.

What does come out of her mouth is a non-stop orgy of self-congratulation, self-pity, mean-spirited digs, brown-nosing, and constant attempts to convince the reader (or is she really trying to convince HERSELF...?) how beautiful she is.

I found her constant jabs at Walter "Killer" Kowalski to be really low. In the space of 20 pages she manages to constantly mock his accent, call him cheap, a money-grubber, mock his hairpiece, insinuate he has Head Lice(?).....nice way to repay the man who gave you your start. But then again, the whole book is about how everyone on the face of the Earth was against her....her only allies were boyfriend Triple-H (Who has since dumped her for a more conventional-looking female), and Boss Vince McMahon, the greatest human being on God's Green Earth....at least according to Joanie. (All the brown-nosing didn't help- he didn't renew her contract when it expired last year....he made Chyna, and he killed her off, too. Ironic.) We also get to read, ad-nauseum, about Joanie's horrific childhood.....her parents fought (SHUDDER....), her Mom yelled when Joanie broke her Stereo, her Mom had Four Husbands....boo-hoo-hoo. Things are tough all over, kid. I, and millions of other people, had rough childhoods. What about kids that had NO homes, NO parents, NOWHERE to turn....I really didn't appreciate her drama-queen representation of a childhood that was no worse than anyone elses.

And the constant yammering on about how "Beautiful" she is....how all the boys wanted her in school- even the TEACHERS! Yeah.... Joanie, people aren't asking you if you're really a man because you're beautiful....I don't see people asking Gwyneth Paltrow that question. You're a curiousity. Nothing more, nothing less. Your 15 minutes are up, thank goodness.

If I seem mean, it's because her book seemed mean. Chyna is nothing but a whining, spoiled ingrate. Grow up.