PG Tips Monkey Soft Toy

The product I am reviewing today can thank it's lucky stars that it physically exists. Obviously designs and sketches were completed without issue but it is by luck and luck alone that I am writing about it now, and not something else.

Basically, ever since the demise of those endearing little tv advert monkeys back in '92, PG have been fighting a horrible and at times bloody, battle for their economic survival. PG tips were doing badly for a number of political and social reasons. I think this review is not the place, and now is most certainly not the time, to go into this subject in further detail.

Anyway, in 1998 PG tips found themselves at a crossroads. They had the choice to either sell out to Tetleys(noted for their ruthless business ethics) or have a radical last ditch attempt to save themselves. Thankfully for me, they chose the latter and this last ditch attempt entailed completely revamping the face of PG tips and manufacturing a familiar face to which the British public could relate. In early 2002 PG spent an estimated £2.4 million in refreshing the look of the brand, and from 2003 onwards they started R&D to find the new face of PG tips. The road was a long and winding one, they needed to find a face that would appear to a large number of people as friendly and harmless. PG tips also wanted to hook some of their older customers by referring to the imagery and vision of the iconic 'chimpanzees drinking tea ' adverts of the late 20th century.

After much difficulty and small incidents of 'actual bodily harm', at the beginning of 2006 PG revealed the new face of PG tips:

Johnny Vegas and his little monkey puppet thing.

Anyway, this brilliant piece of market maneuvering and resurfacing of ancient monkey-trust-emotions has led to complete market domination for PG tips.

Spectacularly, after advertising their product with the aid of the squeeky voiced fat man for just 3 months, PG's market share of tea-leave based beverages has grown from 32.8% to 98.2%.

In light of these recent financial developments, PG tips tea company decided that a 'thank you' was in order for the British public and so it brings me onto the subject of my review.

Buy a 500g box of PG tips today and you will recieve free of charge, yes free of charge, a little monkey soft toy, in approx 1/3 scale of Johnny Vegas' real friend.

When you eagerly rip off the packaging to reach your promotional gift, your first thoughts of your new friend are quite simply, 'oh, isn't he lovely, I could just eat him all up.'Upon closer inspection of my new best friend the one thing that immediately stands out is the simply devastating quality of the thing. This baby could have been passed down to me from my granmother, and this is precisely what I shall be telling my children, and herewith begins an exciting new tradition within my household.

PG have not cut any corners as I found out when I rang up the head of PG tips tea company advertising department. After brief conversation it soon transpired that PG is simply astounded with the British support they have received, and have decided to show this in the quality of their new cuddly toy.

As you might expect of a soft toy costing maybe two to three hundred pounds, this toy has triple stitch reverse webbing, patented stuffing balance control system (SPBS), and a whole host of other features which really do put a smile on your face after a long day at the office.

On the whole, this product is not only an exemplary soft toy (with 10 year guarantee), but it is a vehicle for the distribution of gratitiude from one of Britain's best and most history laden companies, just wanting to give a little back to society.

Please go and purchase one of these when you next have the chance, because, not only will you be purchasing a sterling investment, but you will be buying an object that simultaneously encapsulates all that is good about Great Britain, and a reminder to all of us as to what Man can do when he really wants something.