Chilston Park Hotel, Lenham, Kent

What a poor example of a Christmas dinner

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We visited on the evening of the 21st August, being myself my wife and two sons, the meal for the most part was ok but I ordered a sirloin steak as a main course and I really should have complained but didn’t want to spoil the evening for the rest of the party, it arrived like shoe leather although in there defence I did ask for it to be cooked with no blood but ironically I went out to a country pub this weekend just gone and had a sirloin and ask for it to again be cooked with no blood and it was BEAUTIFUL so I think the chefs at chilston need some extra training as it’s not exactly a cheap venue and I think that was a pretty poor show..

Our stay was a disaster from start to finish. We have nicknamed this place "Fawlty Towers Plus". For our troubles, all we got was our meal on the Friday evening for free which, considering it took them 3 hours, is the least they could have done. Specifically:

- We were given a room in the attic (Boswell) which is tiny (not much bigger than the double bed within it) and has a tiny cupboard to put clothes into - in the bathroom. The worst is it's much hotter than the rest of the hotel (you can feel the temperature rise as you ascend the stairs). The window opens onto a rooftop view with constant noise from the kitchen extractors and other people's attic room windows looking right at you. It was far too hot to sleep in so we complained and were given a monstrous portable air conditioning unit which sounded like a tractor and occupied the remaining tiny space between our bed and the window.

- Dinner on the first night took almost 3 hours. We waited an hour for our starters to arrive after ordering. The dining room was only half full so the kitchen wasn't even working to capacity. The food was nothing to write home about anyway, but the long delays meant it was nearly midnight before we finished dessert, so there was no chance of a relaxing coffee afterwards. After a day of travelling to get there, it was very frustrating. People dining at tables beside us also complained to the waiting staff about the extraordinary length of time it took to be served. The waiting staff were very apologetic about it but obviously the Chef can only churn out one plate every 15 minutes or so, and there was nothing they could do about it.

- Breakfast on both days was a very slow affair. Ordering the cooked breakfast (avoid at all costs - undercooked bacon, overcooked rubbery egg with solid yolk, over-boiled beans....) meant I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food on the first day, and a similar time on the second. Ordering my toast to go with breakfast and asking for white only when prompted, I then had to ask again as I finished my long awaited cooked breakfast as it hadn't been brought out yet. Then, when it arrived, it was brown toast, not the white I ordered. On the second day it was a similar story, except two tables who had arrived and ordered after us were served their breakfast before us (and it was the same as I had ordered too!). Any time we asked the staff a question or prompted them for our order, they were very confused and would usually just walk away and ignore us. After 40 minutes of waiting, we had to give up and go to our room to pack as we had an appointment to make on our way home and were running late. 40 minutes to wait for breakfast to be served? Who knows when it would have eventually arrived.

- The shower was broken. No matter what temperature we tried to set it at, it stayed the same very hot temperature. We complained about this on the Saturday morning but nothing was done about it (although they did acknowledge that it was broken). We came home from our wedding do after midnight to find a note on our bed saying we should contact reception to discuss the problem - not handy when reception is shut. I was then informed before checking out on the Sunday that I could have had a shower elsewhere if I wanted. They should have told us this straight away! So this meant that, not only did we check out on the Sunday morning very hungry due to lack of breakfast, but I hadn't been able to have a shower before the long travel back home to Scotland.

- The sink didn't hold it's water even when the plug was jammed in as hard as I could make it go. I had to shave with the tap on full to try to maintain a small amount of water in the sink. The sink also has a big crack in it, adding to the general shabbiness of the room.

I'm sure there was much more, but we gave up trying to remember it all and instead focussed on the wedding we had come down for, which was a lovely distraction and thankfully elsewhere.

In summary - do NOT eat there unless you are graced with bountiful patience, do NOT accept the Boswell room or any of it's counterparts in the attic space and, if you have a choice, please please stay elsewhere. For all our problems and the stress of travelling home hungry and without a refreshing shower on the last day, all we got was dinner refunded. The room itself was not worth the fee we paid and the general attitude of the place meant they don't deserve the custom anyway.

We held the reception for our only daughter's wedding at this hotel 12th August 2011. As Mother of the Bride and Chief Wedding Planner I was concerned by the previous negative reports on Trip Adviser. Plese let me reassure future Brides that they do not need to worry. From the moment we rang the hotel from the church to let them know we were on our way a very professional finely tuned operation commenced. The staff greeted the guests with delicious canopies and drinks on arrival and made sure everyone was happy and that the harpist was in place to entertain us. The Wedding Breakfast room was set up exactly as I had requested included adding the extra flowers we had brought with us from the church. Kevin Bottomly and his team coped brilliantly with serving all the guests there, the correct food option which they had to adentify from our colour coded butterflies and everyone received superb hot food and great wine with a smile and very efficiently. The staff also had to cope with a Surprise Singing Waiter Act during the meal and had integrated them with the team all day to make it totally convincing. Well Done!!!! The Evening guests were well looked after by the hotel as we got delayed in the Wedding Breakfast by the speeches (which, due to the fact that everyone was having a ball were a little longer than planned) . The hotel magically ensured that the band, magician, sweetie table, blow up guitars, wedding cake, flowers moved etc were all in place for the evening. The evening buffet was plentiful and tasted excellent. According to one of our guests the sausage thing was very moorish.! As we had booked exclusive use most of our guests were fortunate to stay overnight. This could have been a problem when they all tried to book in at once but it was not. Becky, Guy and their team on reception coped brilliantly. Nobody got lost although we did have one guest who had forgotten which room he was staying in with his wife at 1am but my husband and I found him and sent him to bed. The Guests loved all the different quirky rooms with sloping floors and the wonderful ambience of the grade one listed building. Everyone kept telling us what a wonderful place Chilston is. The breakfast on the 13th was just as good. The hot food was great and the cold buffet really good. The staff were smiling and coped very well even though most of our guests decided to arrive at the same time. (they all wanted to enjoy their rooms as long as possible). They were a little disapointed that the Breakfast staff did not start singing but hey you cannot have everything. They hotel even allowed us to perform an delightful unique dutch custom when the bride and groom left. If you work with the hotel and tell them exactly what you want; it will happen.

Readers- you may be thinking I am easy to please- this is not the case, quite the opposite. Credit where credit is due. I am so pleased that I chose this lovely venue- JUST BRILLIANT! WELL DONE CHILSTON and THANK YOU for making my daughter's wedding one in a million!

Hi just want to say a big thank you for all the help I got in regards to my big day!!! I am over the moon!! thank you so much!! I would also like to thank Richard our Dj I have lost count with how many people said it was the best disco they had ever been too!!! THANKS!!!!!!!!!!